well this isn’t really a rant. more of a jtlyk kind of thing.
Michael’s going to Jackson, TN. That’s 8 and a half hours from Worthington, OH (aka my prison). He’s going to get there this saturday and im not leaving until tuesday evening.
SO. i say to my mom, after discussing many a remote possibility for meeting up: “Hey mom… you know… I think that Sunday would be a fantastic day to drive down to Jackson, TN.”
Mom: Why? who’s there?
Me: … Michael.
Mom: Hahaha! That’s funny, Ellie.
Mom: Did his mom say she’s okay with you two?
Me: No, he hasn’t told her yet.
Mom: Well he should find a way to deal with it. He’s old enough.
Me: Mom, do you have any idea what his mom would do if she found out about us?
Mom: No, I dont. But I’m sure that he can handle it.
Me: She would take away all ways for him to communicate. She’d probably make him delete his facebook account, take away his phone, and probably plenty of other things, too.
My mom pretended not to hear me and walked out of the room.
My options are as follows:
That last one’s not a very good option. At all.
I realize now that I havent really said anything about myself, so here we go! Lots of random things thrown into a concoction known as Ellie. (whatever is in parentheses is the song that was playing as I was writing)
I’m a 16 year old high schooler living in the little city of Worthington, Ohio. I moved here from Bellevue, Washington near Seattle in September of 2008 and I was crushed. I belong there. But people in the midwest are a lot friendlier than the people in the northwest, and that helped me adjust. I’m very shy until someone speaks to me first, so I had trouble really engaging in a social life. In my infinite free time I did every extra credit project offered - what else did i have to do? - and I began teaching myself how to play the guitar.
Music has always come naturally to me. I know that sounds maybe like I’m bragging, but I’m really not. When I was seven, I sat down at a piano and began playing “Lean on Me” after hearing the song maybe three or four times in my life. Music is the only constant in my life. I cannot live without it. I cannot breathe without knowing that music is in the world. I feel like if I could have one thing in my life, it would be to have stereo systems all around the world so that music could be playing no matter where I am. I understand it. Music doesn’t lie to you. It is what it is. Nothing more. Nothing less. It’s simple and it shows you what it means through intricate harmonies, breathtaking key changes, and heartfelt rhythms. I wish people could be as simple to comprehend to me as music is.
(Losing a Whole Year, Jumper, Narcolepsy, Semi-Charmed Life) - Third Eye Blind
I love to bake. When I’m bored and I have the ingredients, I’m baking. Cookies, cakes, pies, bread, you name it. And the interesting thing is, I don’t even bake because I want to eat the food I make. I bake because it keeps my mind off of things I’d rather not think about. It’s kind of difficult to think about how your ex cheated on you when you’re trying to keep the electric mixer from throwing peanut-butter cookie dough across the kitchen. Believe me. it’s a good way to keep your head out of wherever you don’t want it to be.
(James Dean, Gimme Shelter, Artie) - Goo Goo Dolls
Theater is my life. If music is my language, then theater is my country. I love being able to escape my own life and let go of my cares by entering into the shoes of a character. In the world of the stage, I feel like all my worries are lifted - I’m thrown back to the innocence of playing pretend when I was a little girl, dressing up in wacky outfits and pretending I was a princess in a far-away land. Being onstage comes naturally to me as well. I love everything about theater. Acting, set-building, light-hanging, running the light or sound board, setting props, directing, costuming; you name it, I’ll do it without a moment’s hesitation just to be able to be in that environment.
(Another Second Time Around, Crooked Crown, All-American Girl) - Goo Goo Dolls, Bonnie Raitt, Carrie Underwood
I’m always very hesitant to get into a relationship with anybody. I have trouble trusting that people will always live up to their word, because - and lets be honest here - they usually don’t. It probably doesn’t help that the one time I really actually committed myself to being with someone and opened myself up to them and let them see the real me, they cheated on me. I’m not somebody who you can walk up to and be like “hey, wanna go out some time?” No. I need to be friends first. I need to know you as a friend before I even come close to trusting you with my heart. That’s how it goes with me.
(Conspiracy, Look So Tired) - Paramore, Landon Pigg
Hardly anyone really knows who I am. The only people who I’ve ever been 100% truthful to are my best friends: Ricci, Nadia, Emily, and Moriah. It took a lot for me to build up that trust to them, but it wouldn’t take much to break it.
(Colorful, I Write Sins Not Tragedies) - Rocco DeLuca, Panic! At the Disco